Your Official Geeked Gods Guide to Spooky Streaming for this Halloween
October is undoubtedly the spookiest time of year and as many of us know AMC’s Horrorfest is not what it used to be. And besides who even has cable anymore? If you’re like me, you’ll be scaring up some fun this month on your tablet, laptop or through your streaming device. If you’re unsure of what to watch or are just getting bored of watching Jason stabbing camp counselors over and over again allow me to submit some of my favorite movies that you can easily watch using your best friends login credentials…
-Yoga Hosers (Flix Fling)
Kevin Smith’s second entry to his ‘True North Trilogy’ follows a pair of teenage convenience store clerks (aptly played by Lily-Rose Depp and Harley Quinn Smith) as they fend off an invasion of Nazi Bratwurst super soldier clones from destroying all of Canada (and this the world). The young ladies are joined on their quest by infamous monster hunter Guy Lapointe (Johnny Depp) who we last saw hunting down the savage Howard Howe in Tusk (which if you haven’t seen, check please check it out).
Admittedly I am a Kevin Smith fan (except for Jersey Girl, but nobody’s perfect) but I can’t recommend this movie highly enough. There were good laughs, amazing cameos (Kevin Conroy, Stan Lee, Haley Joel Osment) and Kevin Smith playing an army of sausage monsters. But the coolest thing about this film is the fact that, at an age when more kids are butting heads with their parents, Smith and Depp got an opportunity to make something really fun and memorable with their daughters.
In order to watch this movie you’ll need to create an account for Flixfling, a streaming service that allows for monthly subscription or (as I opted for) an a-la-carte option that allows you to purchase rentals or buy films as you see fit. Totally worth it to get a chance to watch this hidden gem that many critics overlooked.
-Deathgasm (Netflix)
This independent dark comedy follows a crew of Kiwi metalheads (Milo Cawthornem, James Blake) must save the world after inadvertently summoning the demon Aeloth by playing The Black Hymn in their garage band.
This film is surprisingly heartfelt, exploring themes of isolation, parental loss, institutionalized bullying, betrayal and forgiveness all while keeping the demonic gore flowing as consistently as it campy yet dark humor.
For anyone that grew up as a fan of heavy music (punk, metal, hardcore anything generally angry and loud) this movie is like a wonderful throwback to the days of wearing all black and pissing off your neighbors with your terrible band.
-Shaun of the Dead (Hulu)
The 2004 sleeper hit that found a way to blend romantic comedy and gory horror in one genre-defining package has become a classic among both casual zombie fans and horror enthusiasts. People tend to forget that before this movie (along with 28 Days Later and Zach Snyder’s Dawn of the Dead) helped revive the slumping corpse that was the Zombie subgenre and lead to the popularity of Robert Kirkman’s The Walking Dead and Chris Roberson and Michael Allred’s iZombie.
-Dead Snow (Netflix)
This Swedish zombie film directed by Tommy Wirkola follows a group of college students on a winter retreat to a remote cabin in the mountains. A mysterious traveler stops by their cabin to warn the carefree hipsters about the dark untold history of the town and its ties to a pillaging group of elite German soldiers. Their party is cut short when said undead goose steppers descend on their cabin and devour the students one by one.
Dead Snow is full of slapstick humor and over the top violence and shows no mercy when it comes to its main cast. These gold loving zombies are out to destroy everything in their path until they reclaim what they’d stolen in the war. If you’re into movies that don’t care whether you’re going to sleep well at night, check out its sequel Dead Snow 2: Red vs. Dead, also available on Netflix.
-The Thing (Hulu)
Starring one of the biggest badasses ever to walk the face of the Earth, Kurt Russell, this film was one of the first of its kind: a remake that was better than the original.
A crew of scientists on a remote Antarctic base face off against a shape shifting alien monster that only wants to kill all humans. The Thing is an absolute Holy Grail for any fans of practical horror effects and features some of the most nightmare-inducing images ever put on film.
The most horrifying thing about this film is arguably its themes of isolation. Not only are these people literally smack dab in the most hostile environment on earth; they’re unable to tell who among them have been infected. They are stranded not only in the middle of nowhere, but also inside themselves.
-Tucker and Dale vs. Evil (Netflix)
One of the smartest Horror-comedies of this decade Tucker and Dale follows two hillbilly homeboys (Tyler Labine, Alan Tudyk) as they suffer from a series of unfortunate accidents and a case of mistaken identity.
The titular Tucker and Dale have just purchased their dream vacation home (albeit a rundown shack in the middle of the woods) when they encounter a group of overly excited college preppies. After kids mistake the Redneck duo for backwoods serial killers and the events that follow play out like the bastard son of Mr. Bean and Sam Raimi.
And speaking of Sam Raimi…
-Evil Dead/Evil Dead 2 (Hulu)
This entry is a two for one punch since it’s the only film I’ve ever know to have a sequel that’s also a remake but made with the same star and director. The Evil Dead films are the great granddaddy of almost every horror movie that deals with, demonic possession/apocalypse, isolation, severe mutilation, and heavy gore. Almost every movie on this list can trace at least some of it’s story- or at the least that obligatory, quick cut “arming up” scene that is in every goddamn zombie movie.
The general story of the Brainchild of Raimi, his brother Ted and the great Bruce Campbell revolves around a group of teenagers (or a couple) spending a weekend in a lovely old cabin in the middle of nowhere. At one point one of these morons reads from a book (or plays a recording of some other idiot reading the book) that is literally bound in human flesh and inked in blood. What ensues is a night of carnage that only the world’s greatest hero Ashley Williams is capable of withstanding.
The Evil Dead has had such a significant impact on pop culture that last year, more than a thirty years after the original feature and two decades after it’s final installment, deadite-heads were treated to Ash vs. Evil Dead- a continuation of the franchise that has been met with acclaim from both fans and critics alike.
Honorable Mentions:
Netflix: Night of the Living Deb, He Never Died, Re-Animator, The Babadook, Nightbreed.
Hulu: American Psycho, Hellraiser, From Dusk Till Dawn, 1408.
