By Corey Fanelli @coreyfanelli
Is it us or does every Spider-Man movie make Aunt May younger maybe she is the Benjamin Button of the Marvel Universe….. it seems Aunt May has gone from old to Boneva to hot. Youts every where are now looking at Aunt May in ways they never looked at her.
Fan boys everywhere are confused by their sudden attraction to Peter Parker’s Aunt May, who now looks stunningly similar to actress Marisa Tomei. It wasn’t long ago that nobody took a second look at May Parker, not because she wasn’t beautiful but mostly because she reminded everyone of their grandmothers. Parker must have grown tired of her old age because by the time she was well into her eighties things started to change.
It was sometime around 2012 that Parker’s appearance morphed from the silver-haired old lady of the early 2000’s to a visibly younger and brunette Sally Field-like visage. This was May’s first step away from the role of the grandmother-like aunt and our confirmation that Aunt May must, in fact, have Benjamin Button’s backward aging powers. Apparently gaining approximately a decade of youth was not enough for Parker though, who kept this physical form for another two years or so before setting her sights on re-achieving another plateau in her de-aging process: middle agedness.
Parker’s powers must be growing stronger with time because it only took a year for her to make this transformation from a still elderly but younger form to a much noticeably younger and, dare I say, smoking hot form. Yep, after over 50 years of comics and 15 years on the big screen May Parker is officially a babe, and nobody knows how to react.
The confusion was apparent when we asked a random sampling of men and women what they thought about the new May. “Holy cow, I thought she was like a grannie-lookin’ lady or something,” one man said, adding “but she’s hot. Like really hot.” Another participant said “Wait, that’s Aunt May?” when he was shown a picture of Parker’s latest form, before asking if he could borrow the picture and scurried away. Many were envious of Parker’s apparent forays into the fountain of youth, with one woman stating “damn, I don’t know how she did it but I hope I find whatever she did when I reach 80.”
The last remaining question is how his aunt’s newfound youth and attractiveness will affect young Peter Parker, who lives with May in Queens, New York. A relative outsider and what many of his classmates have described as a “nerd”, Parker has spent much of his adolescent life bullied and therefore keeps mostly to himself and his science projects.
New reports are coming in, however, that claim that Peter’s popularity has skyrocketed quicker than his aunt can de-age, with many classmates now clamoring to be invited over for dinner, presumably to sneak a peak of May doing work around the house. “I heard her husband died a little while ago, which is real sad,” a male student who asked to remain anonymous said, adding “but I guess that means she could use a man around the house. Someone to help her out with things, you know?” At this point we’re left wondering just how young Aunt May will get and the rabid effect this could have on Spider-Man fans everywhere.
Do you have thoughts on the new, younger May portrayed by Marisa Tomei? Do you think this works now that Peter Parker will also be portrayed as younger than his past iterations? Let us know in the comments below or you can tweet @thegeekedgods or me, @coreyfanelli on Twitter
